Saturday, November 04, 2006

 

Beyond Dancing Your Life


I began blogging during the summer of 2006. I was dancing my life then and was very excited about sharing my thoughts with you about how to do that. Then, in October 2006, I came across a book that changed my whole paradigm and swept my attention in another direction.

In 2007, I am beyond dancing my life. I am playing Phase 2 of The Human Game. We are all playing the same game if you are alive on planet Earth, but did you know, there is a Phase 1 and a Phase 2?

Everyone enters the game in Phase 1. Then, sometime during your lifetime, you learn there is a Phase 2 and when you do, if you are ready, you make the shift. I did. Each day I get deeper and deeper into Phase 2 and boy, is it fun!

If you read the book, Busting Loose From the Money Game by Robert Scheinfeld, and want to join me in playing Phase 2 of the game, send me your email address and request my info. I will put you in touch with how I support Phase 2 players. I might even have a website by then.

Friday, September 15, 2006

 

BE CURRENT

How much of your 24 hour day do you spend in thought about what happened in the past or what could happen in the future? Unless your answer is zero, you are spending too much time living in “would’a, could’a, should’a”. You cannot be CURRENT when you are living in the past or future. When your mind is silent (achieved by meditation and breathing practices) you are CURRENT. You are in the here and now. From silence, you have access to The Power of Now, also a book title by Eckhart Tolle.

Being CURRENT also involves using your updating skill. From time to time, take inventory of yourself. How much have you changed? Are you in the same place as the last time you updated yourself? Are you evolving or devolving? If you used to be angry and unkind, have you changed? And if you have changed, wouldn’t you like those who know you to update themselves to who you have become?

Use your updating skill to take inventory of those close to you. Have they evolved to a different place? If you don’t do this from time to time, you will have incorrect images of yourself and the people you relate to.


In my family when I was growing up, I was considered the dumb one and my sibling was the smart one. When that changed, only one of my parents updated themselves to the CURRENT truth. My other parent still views me the same as when I was a child. It is particularly sad since it is not true.

Be attentive, alert and aware of your CURRENT view of yourself and others. We all change. To keep yourself CURRENT you must be in the “now” moment and keep yourself updated to the changes people make as they evolve.

CURRENT is another attitude in the Dance Your Life series. If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Sunday, September 10, 2006

 

BE COMPASSIONATE

Another attitude in the Dance Your Life series is COMPASSION. This attitude comes with maturity and life experience. Before the attitude of COMPASSION is forged, one is appropriately selfish. Selfishness, viewed from its positive perspective, is a phase we all pass through during our adolescent years on our way to becoming adults.

It is important to be selfish on your way to woman-manhood. It is from focusing on “me, me, me” that we learn who we are, what we want, what we have to contribute. If we have COMPASSIONATE, understanding parents and teachers, who allow us to be selfish during our teen years, we develop naturally. We become compassionate, understanding adults by their example. If not, we might get stuck in that phase of development and grow into very selfish adults with little understanding or COMPASSION for others.

With life experience and maturity, we eventually begin to think of others, put ourselves in their shoes so to speak, see other perspectives besides our own. That is when the attitude of COMPASSION begins to develop and grow from within. We can understand, even though we may not agree. We can forgive, even though we will never forget. We can open our heart and love more. COMPASSION is an attitude of maturity, whatever age it is demonstrated.

If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Sunday, August 27, 2006

 

BE RESPECTFUL

One of the attitudes in the Dance Your Life series is RESPECT. One meaning for RESPECT is allowing other people to have their choices even though they may not be your choices. To make other people wrong when their choices are not the same as yours is disrespectful.

My husband and I have professions at opposite ends of the healthcare spectrum. He is in the medical field. I am in the alternative healthcare field. When we first married, my husband would accompany me to the conferences that I was interested in, but I would be disappointed when he didn’t enjoy them too. I would attend his medical conferences with him, but I did not resonate with the medical point of view, which disappointed him. We were clearly at odds and often at war over our opposing points of view.

The solution, we came to learn, was simply acceptance and RESPECT for the other person’s choice. I have great RESPECT for my husband’s expertise in the medical profession. He has great RESPECT for my expertise in the alternative approach to healing. Now, I attend the conferences that interest me without him and vice versa.


If you are going to dance your life, you must develop RESPECT for people’s choices, rather than put energy into trying to get them to switch to your choices. I’ve tried it. It does not build and support a loving relationship.

If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Saturday, August 19, 2006

 

BE RESILIENT

One of the attitudes in the Dance Your Life series is flexibility or being RESILIENT. You can’t expect to dance your life if you are inflexible, rigid, stubborn, unwilling to change. Those attitudes can keep you stuck in an unpleasant place, like stuck in grief, fear, anger, revenge or resentment.

Long ago, in a former life of marriage and children, I woke up one day and could not get out of bed. I had zero energy. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I was depleted. The short story is that within a year I lost my health, my marriage, my children, my home, but I had not lost my life. I was still breathing and I wanted to live. It took awhile, but I bounced back to life and moved on. I was RESILIENT.

If you become so devastated by an experience – death, divorce, business failure, illness --- that you can’t recover and get on with living, your inflexibility will cheat you out of your life. You could become the “walking dead”. To move on from an experience, good, bad or neutral, to the next experience life has to offer, is RESILIENCE.

Looking back, that excruciating experience was a turning point in my life journey, an awakening of my spirit. It set me in a new direction, a path that has led me to the life I live today, full of hope, health and joy. Be RESILIENT, so you can dance your life!


If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Saturday, August 12, 2006

 

BE OPEN

One of the attitudes in the Dance Your Life series is being OPEN. Think about it. When you are protecting yourself, shut down, closed, your giving and receiving shrinks to match. To receive the abundance of money, love, happiness that is waiting for you from the Universe, you have to be OPEN to receive it.

After recovering from a divorce, my dream was to meet a man to love and who would love me in return. Well, when I remarried, after 12 years of being single and alone, my receiving had shrunk and I didn’t even know it. My new husband was loving me too much. I was trying to receive buckets of love with a thimble. I felt like I was drowning and my husband felt rejected because I wasn’t OPEN to receive all he wanted to give. I needed to OPEN and expand my ability to receive. And until I did, with conscious effort, I was very uncomfortable and so was he. To restrain his love was painful for him, because he was bursting at the seams with it.

When we choose to be OPEN, we can receive all that is waiting for us – love, money, happiness, whatever we think is missing. How OPEN are you to receiving? Practice being more OPEN, so you can receive all that you deserve and dance your life!


If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Saturday, July 29, 2006

 

BE PATIENT

The next attitude in the Dance Your Life series is PATIENCE. This one has been a challenge for me. I have had to work hard to strengthen my PATIENCE so it would override my automatic response of impatience. Do you have an automatic impatient response? I do. I can get impatient, short tempered and easily aggravated when things take longer than I expect them to.

The following two things have helped me enormously in my becoming more PATIENT.

I had a teacher who would repeatedly say, “Life moves in cycles and has its own flow. You can’t hurry it. It takes as long as it takes.” When I find myself standing in a bank line or grocery line that is not moving, and I feel impatience begin to rise inside me, I stop and remind myself, “That’s not going to make the line move any faster. It takes as long as it takes.” I take a deep breath and, in that moment, I practice PATIENCE.

My husband is a great example of PATIENCE. I watched him cut down a tree in our backyard branch by single branch. He used a tree pruner; that’s a saw blade on the end of a long pole. Reaching his arms high over his head holding the pole, he would PATIENTLY move the saw blade back and forth over the tree branch. When the blade cut all the way through the branch, it would fall to the ground. My husband would then move to the next branch and begin again, day after day until every branch was off the tree. What PATIENCE!

I was inspired by his dedication to the project. Staying with it. Never quitting. Never giving up. He demonstrated infinite PATIENCE to that one task and to many other tasks that came before and after that one, including PATIENCE with me when I am out-of-balance.

To watch PATIENCE in action is an awesome sight. To overcome impatience with PATIENCE is incredibly rewarding, but you have to do the work and be dedicated to the win. If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Friday, July 14, 2006

 
BE COURAGEOUS

One of the attitudes in the Dance Your Life series is COURAGE, an attitude that emerges after we take an action we do not want to take because it scares us. COURAGE follows fear. There is a book called, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. It is in facing your particular fear and acting in spite of it that allows COURAGE to rise from deep within to the surface.

We have all felt fear and the desire to run the other way. Doubt and fear make us feel small. Facing something big when we feel so small takes strength, determination, trust in ourself, and half a dozen other attributes all working together to build enough COURAGE inside us to motivate us to action. We may wish it were the other way around, “If I had courage, I would act.” In my experience, COURAGE shows up after I act. With practice, fear dissolves; COURAGE remains.

Life is like an obstacle course, littered with one obstacle after another. Every area of life-- job or career, health, finances, relationships, spiritual journey-- has difficulties to face and move through. Pick one. Allow yourself to feel your fear fully for two minutes. Then, take action, moving forward through the obstacle, to the other side where you will feel the exhilaration of COURAGE. By the way, confidence also surfaces as a bonus.

I faced my fear to tell the truth, to speak in front of a group, to dance on a stage, to own my own business, to travel outside my comfort zone physically and figuratively. I encourage you to face your fears and move beyond them. It feels good. It’s how you make the transition from struggling to survive to dancing your life.

If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

 
BE HONEST

One of the attitudes in the Dance Your Life series is HONESTY. Good things happen to people who are HONEST. I don’t know if people are born with an HONEST gene, learn it as children or simply choose HONESTY over dishonesty in the moment.

Be HONEST with self ---
Sometimes it’s easier to be HONEST with others, than with ourselves, because we see ourselves through a distorted lens. For years I thought I was stupid. I was in my 30’s, standing in front of a mirror looking at myself, when the truth hit me like a thunderbolt. “I’m not stupid. I’m smart! All these years I have been believing a lie about myself.” It was a shock to suddenly see myself so clearly. That was the beginning of the end of the lies. I began to be very discerning what I believed about myself.

Be HONEST with others----
I have witnessed the damage lying does in relating to others. When you tell a lie, it is like shielding light from the sun. And the more lies you tell, the more the light is blocked.
I was in a relationship once where I saw the damage my lies did to my relationship. When I decided to be HONEST and tell the truth behind my lies, something dissolved between us and allowed the love and joy to flow freely again. That’s when I learned that if I wanted to dance my life, I had to stop lying.

If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say, “Life is good. All is well. I am happy.”

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

 
BE KIND

One of the attitudes in the Dance Your Life series is KINDNESS. Good things happen to people who practice KINDNESS. Practice is anything you repeat over and over even if you are not aware that you are doing it. Do you know someone who is usually KIND? How do you feel when you are around them? How do you feel around someone who is unkind?

KINDNESS is one of the easiest attitudes to practice and master. Simply be mindful of how you are when you are around other people. Do you put others first or do you rush to put yourself first? When I approach a closed door alone, I open it myself. However, when I am with someone else, I pause, and allow the other person to act first. When they open the door and allow me to enter first, they are being KIND. When they open the door and rush through in front of me, they are being unkind. Such a simple gesture will tell you someone’s attitude if you are paying attention.

Attitudes are practiced in-group. In other words, if you know someone who is unkind, they practice like-minded attitudes. They are also unhappy, impatient, ungrateful. Why? Because attitudes are practiced in-group. At the other end of the spectrum, if you know someone who is KIND, they also practice being happy, patient, grateful and all the attitudes that are congruent with KINDNESS.

What kind of life are you living? What kind of people are you associating with? Because unkindness is practiced more than KINDNESS, there are lots of unhappy people in the world. I used to be one of them. But when I practiced unkindness, my life was dreadful! I didn’t know why my life was dreadful until some KIND soul made me aware that I was doing it to myself and I could change my life by changing my attitudes. So I did. Every day I consciously practice KINDNESS.

KINDNESS is a choice made each waking moment. Every day I consciously parctice KINDNESS. You can be KIND or not. The benefits are huge! Be KIND so you can dance your life!

If you follow my blog, I will reveal to you all the attitudes necessary to practice and master so you too can say:
“Life is good. All is well. I am happy!”

Sunday, July 02, 2006

 
I am so excited! This is my first blog. However, this is not my first writing.......

I love to write. I write all the time. In fact, I have a list of email subscribers to my Balancing Tool of the Week which I email to my people at the start of each week. I have been writing and publishing them since 2000. I recently received this email from one of my participants. I am so proud of it, I'll share it with you: "I like your e-mails because, they are one page, and it is something I can practice immediately. The principals you write about help focus my awareness. They come on Mondays, the beginning of the week."

Dance Your Life is a series of attitudes that when practiced and mastered, you will find yourself saying like me, "I am dancing my life". Behind you, will be those painful days of unhappiness, survival, victim, and lack. I don't know anyone who wouldn't want those days behind them. When you can Dance Your Life, that's when you can declare every day: "Life is good. All is well. I am happy!"

Look for these titles on my Dance Your Life blog: Be Kind, Be Grateful, Be Patient and more. There are 13-15 attitudes you must practice. I will share them all with you right here. Welcome to my blog, your guide to dancing your life!

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